Belly magic.

TheMightyFeatureEmailRecently, I received a lovely email from The Mighty Team. They shared with me that they had featured one of my articles about relationships and depression on The Mighty Facebook page. It was originally a post on this blog, xo, O.*

The Mighty publishes crowdsourced articles written by people who are not abled or experience chronic illness (mental, emotional and physical).

It’s a great resource if you want to read about individual experiences. You quickly find and feel that you’re not alone in whatever it is you’re struggling with, because you are so not alone. I suggest it as a resource for caregivers as well!

I digress.

Knowing that sharing my writing is helpful for some people is amazing and so motivating. I love that the act of sharing our painful experiences with one another is a form of self-care for the ‘sharer’ and the receiver.

In this case, sharing is –literally– caring so get your Care Bear Stare** on, folks! It’s good for your health.

What does your Care Bear Stare look like?

*The Mighty publishes articles that have been approved by their editors so the article differs from the original version I posted on this blog.
**”The Care Bears’ ultimate weapon is the “Care Bear Stare” (a.k.a. “Belly Magic”), in which the collected Bears stand together and radiate light from their respective belly symbols. These combine to form a ray of love and good cheer which could bring care and joy into the target’s heart.” 


My wish for you.

I added an addendum — pasted below — to the ‘About’ page that I wanted to bring to your attention, dear readers.

Also, I’m working on a posting schedule for my social media projects (a sci-fi about teen depression – Senescence and a site focused on learning about social media – so you can expect new content here regularly. Stay tuned!


When I started this blog and composed the ‘About‘ text. I was still searching for a partner. Little did I know, a few months later I’d meet Kevin — my beautiful, patient and thoughtful Rennaissance man (seriously, his guitar skills are swoon-a-licious).

What I wrote still applies in terms of the purpose of this blog, but I decided that I would focus blog content on how my depression impacts my relationship with Kevin, including what we do to help us work through the times when my symptoms circle around again.

In relationships, conversations about depression absolutely need to happen – transparently and with oodles of compassion. Depression visits me (us) relatively regularly so this is something Kevin and I come up against a lot.

My wish is that what I share here about the relationship Kevin and I are nurturing together helps others to feel understood and hopeful that depression doesn’t need to drive a wedge between partners in a relationship. Depression can provide opportunities for partners to engage in deeper intimacy that strengthens and enriches relationships.

xo, O. ❤


us_heart shoes

The havoc depression wreaks: Instability.

One of the many things that I am grateful Kevin has brought into my life,
is something I had not experienced before:

His life is rooted in:

  • having a large circle of good friends he sees regularly, as far as being mid-to-late 30-year-old men goes; two friends are our housemates (of sorts),
  • a close nuclear family who spend time together and are in touch with one another often,
  • a six-year-old job with many of the same colleagues, and
  • living in the same place the past six years.

(These are all protective factors of depression, btw. Meaning, these are some life variables that deter depressive symptoms from developing in a person. It mostly has to do with having close-knit networks of friends and family, AKA support. You can find research articles with more info about protective factors on Google Scholar here.)

One of the side effects of having depression that doesn’t get a lot of airplay is the instability-havoc it wreaks on a person’s life. Experiencing drastic or significant mood changes in a short period of time does more than just make someone appear to be “moody.”

  • Your ability to think clearly,
  • finish a coherent sentence, or
  • stay awake for a whole day for work —

they– like all habitual things one does in a day,
will not fall into a regular pattern
that a person living with depression can depend on and expect.

As a person living with chronic depression:

  • Your social contact drops so regularly that some friends stop inviting you out, or
  • your “negative energy” is a drag to be around, or
  • you’re weird and awkward, and you talk about morbid and sad things, or

you have no choice but to hide
your anxiety about being around other people is so
it keeps you paralyzed in bed.

I’ve been meaning to get back into a regular meditation practice. I’m excited to bring Kevin to try it with me at a Buddhist temple. When I asked if he would be willing to go with me, he looked at me and said, “OK, but I’m not going to one of those sensory deprivation camps.”

To which I lifted my left brow with a quizzical side-stare and responded, “You mean the 10-day silent meditation retreat?”


It’s important to make time for stillness, especially for someone living with depression and their partner. It doesn’t have to be meditation in the traditional sense. Go on a hike or take a walk in your neighborhood.

Are you curious about meditation and its benefits?
Check out this lovely infographic made by @AmandaPage, Editor at :: .@HealthCentral.


Repost from Visually :: .@Visually