Thank goodness for good friends. I had a long talk with one of my oldest and bestest friends this evening. Now I know what a car feels like when its tank is filled with petrol, or how Tic Tok feels when he gets wound up (Return to Oz reference – a gazillion brownie points if you get it). Sometimes you need to talk to someone who knows you well and shares their thoughts with you to know how you want to move forward. Good friends are the best reflective listeners. The message that rings with me from our conversation this evening is this:
“Dawni, you sound like you are ready for a relationship. You sound like you know what you want and you want to be with someone who is ready for a relationship too.” (paraphrasing here)
Yes. It’s true. I’m 37, and though I don’t subscribe to the expectation of marrying with 2 kids and a white picket fence, I want to find a partner, damn it. I have lots of good stuff to share, and other people do too, and I want to know it, share it, explore it, ask questions, really stupid questions that that person will tell me are not stupid because no question is.
Now. I know myself. Historically I have a tendency to fall hard and fast. but as I have grown older, I feel as though I can no longer afford to. I yearn for partnership, someone to grow with, like roots from two trees in a big tangled beautiful mess. I want that.
I didn’t think I would end up in this position again but I am considering re-igniting my match.com account. (my stomach is churning as I type this) There is someone to meet. who wants to meet me. and come out from the shadows and show themselves. there is a future together that we are both so excited and ready for. and it involves laughing. a lot.